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What's going on with Ryan and Trista Sutter? A timeline of the 'Bachelorette' stars' cryptic posts
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Date:2025-04-12 00:35:22
Ryan and Trista Sutter just learned how some cryptic posts can send social media into a tailspin.
The couple, who have been married since 2003 after Ryan Sutter won the first season of "The Bachelorette," have left fans confused and concerned in recent weeks with a series of vague statements about Trista being mysteriously absent and unreachable.
Ryan and Trista's marriage is the longest-lasting in the "Bachelor" franchise. But his posts about missing his wife, shared with almost no additional context, sparked speculation about the state of their marriage and even about Trista's safety. Trista has since returned to clear things up and clarify where the two stand.
May 11: Ryan Sutter cryptically posts about missing his wife
Ryan first raised eyebrows on May 11 with a post stating he misses his wife without explaining where she is.
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"I can think of only a handful of days I have not, at minimum, spoken to this incredible woman," he wrote. "She is the love of my life and my best friend. I cannot imagine loving her any more or any more fondly. But I guess we're gonna find out …. I miss her already."
In the comments, concerned fans sought more information. "Is everything ok?" one wrote, while another commented, "Not a good thing to be so vague, leaves the followers to their own imaginations … not healthy."
May 12: Trista is not at home for Mother's Day
The following day was Mother's Day, and Ryan posted about how Trista was not at home with him and their two children to celebrate, again without clarifying why.
"I know you wish you were here for Mother's Day," he posted. "We wish you were too. But sometimes being a mom means letting go of their hands, granting independence and stimulating their courageous spirit. Sometimes it's necessary to exemplify the characteristics you preach — to do rather than say."
In her own Mother's Day post, Trista celebrated the joys of being a mom while also thanking her husband for "being THE best parenthood partner."
May 17: Ryan wishes he could talk to Trista
The cryptic posts continued days later, with Ryan writing on May 17 about how he is currently unable to talk to his wife for unclear reasons.
"I want to know how you're doing," he posted. "I want to support and encourage and cheer you on. I want to be there for you. But I can't. And that's ok cause I know you need this time — time to discover yourself again."
Concern among fans continued to increase, with one follower commenting, "I am very confused what happened here I don't understand." Another wrote, "This sounds as if they are separated."
May 18: Ryan says Trista is 'fine' but 'temporarily inaccessible'
As speculation grew, Ryan addressed fans in a May 18 post, clarifying that Trista is "fine" and they are "great."
"Trista is at a place in life where she is searching a bit," he wrote. "An opportunity presented itself that may help her on that quest. With her family's support, she has taken it. Part of that process means that she is temporarily inaccessible to us. I miss her. We miss her."
But fans still had questions. "Searching for what?" one follower commented. "Is it a separation?"
Other followers speculated that Trista could be away filming a reality show that she is not yet allowed to talk about. "I think it's 'Special Forces,'" "Bachelor" star Ashley Iaconetti later said on the "Almost Famous" podcast, referring to the Fox reality series.
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May 21: Ryan says the drama was 'all because I missed my wife'
As the situation received more and more attention, Ryan wrote on May 21 that his earlier post was directed at "my wife for a time when she could eventually read it," but no one else understood the context.
"It was suggested that Trista had died, we were in trouble or that it must be a mid life crisis among many other creative ideas," he said. "Some thought I was intentionally misleading people in order to somehow benefit from it? It got picked up on entertainment news sites and I started getting texts from friends asking if I was ok. All because I missed my wife and chose to share how that felt."
May 25: Trista Sutter breaks her silence, reflects on 'serious self doubt and fear'
On Memorial Day weekend, Trista shared a photo of herself with Ryan and their kids on the beach. "Geez people," she jokingly wrote on Instagram. "Can't a girl have a nervous breakdown/trial separation/midlife crisis/death/divorce in peace around here."
On a serious note, she clarified she is "safe and sound, happy and healthy, in love and grateful."
"An opportunity for perspective and personal growth presented itself and with the unconditional support of my family and friends, I chose myself and betterment, knowing that my stay-at-home-mom job and my kids end-of-the-school-year needs were in the best, most capable hands," she wrote.
'Bachelorette' star Trista Sutterspeaks out amid husband Ryan's cryptic posts: 'I'm safe and sound'
Trista added that Ryan shared "his love for me in messages that would find me in my travels" because they "look at Instagram like a digital diary," but his posts received more attention than expected. "To me, they gave me exactly what my Words of Affirmation love language needed to get me through some serious self doubt and fear ... and that's all that matters," she added.
Trista did not share additional information about where she was, though, writing, "If you want to know the rest of the story, I will share in due time."
In his own post the following day, Ryan wrote, "Welcome back @tristasutter We missed you…"
May 29: Ryan posts about doing 'our best'
Ryan's most recent post came on May 29, when he shared a photo of himself with Trista along with some personal reflections.
"We do our best — to do and to be good, to live and to treat others well," he wrote. "We make decisions not knowing the outcome but hoping we're on the right path — hoping the questions will be answered in time. We try to be a positive example, to care, to trust the process and to believe others will trust our intent is not malicious or misguided or mean."
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